I do not even know what to say? I am done with all of my exams... and it all comes down to this? I get kicked out of the dorms tomorrow and I am officially done here on campus.... I am constantly reminded of this fact that is only beginning to become full circle. Life seems to be over... at least in the regard that I have become accustom to over the last three and half years.... Tonight is the last time that I will lay in bed starring at the drop ceiling and the four white cinder block walls that I call home. Ormstom 1 for life if you will.... started here.. and am going to finish it here too... I must say that I am going to miss this life that I have built for myself here... it has become likeable... a routine.... comfortable... but I am ready and excited to be "uncomfortable" for God.
I also face the inevitable and unavoidable appointment with some sharp needs and immunizations that I cannot say that I am excited about. But I suppose if I have to get a few pokes to keep me from getting a disease than it is worth it! So what exactly is the fear of needles? Needlephobia? No.. that can't be right... umm... Well nonetheless I have not been a fan of needles or them poking me and I suppose that I will just blame it on me being born premature.. because well that is what I blame everything else on ... but some of it is true...
Well I guess I am off to get a last good night sleep in my bed before it isn't my bed any longer???? :(
Thursday, December 15, 2005
3 out of 4
3 out of 4 dentists recommend Crest toothbrush
3 out of 4 college students like NAPS
3 out of 4 days will lead to BIG decisions
3 out of 4 of my classes are DONE for the semester
3 out of 4 of my siblings are BOYS
Crazy how statistics begin to show whatever you want them to? I have come to the revelation that my semester is almost done... my undergrad degree is almost done... and well life begins... If we have advertising and other things out in the real world that are misleading similar to what statistics sometimes may show.. how am I as a simple individual suppose to differentiate and understand where and what to do in life. There must be some balance between what we want, what we know we should do, and what we thing God, or a higher power may want in our life. But how am I suppose to develop this "truth" for my life without becoming to pragmatetic in my philosophy and metaphysics. I know that in some regards I am simply existentialistic at heart by Sarte's defination of choice and responsiblily with an addition of God. Trust in God.... Truth for my life...
As my time that I am categorized as a "kid" diminishes I am only reminded of the Toys 'R Us slogan of, "I don't want to grow up I am a toys 'r us kid!" The "real world" is upon me... life changing and guiding choices are hidden beneath ever innocent decision made. Graduation is nearing and understanding of what next is decreasing with every passing day. God has called me to do this so far.... but have I made what I want next my own or is that still God's too? Well I don't know how to answer that? But I suppose that all will be answered by the doors opened and closed by God himself.
Life has always seemed like such a pre-packaged, just ad water kind of kit until recently when my worldview and everything associated with it was shattered into countless pieces and the all to common saying of "Tomorrow is not promised to you" seems to ring truer than ever. Tomorrow has always been automatically affiliated with a goal and now I feel like God has brought me to a point in my life where there is no goal, but simple guniune reliance on him. Up to this point in my life I have never really had to think about much.... go to school.. look forward to my driver's license.. then to graduation.. and then it was a given that college was next... you look forward to the preverbal age of 21 just because of the freedom and media hype that has been applied... and then graduation from college seems to be the next step... with a job... family and career within sight. But my life has been turned upside down and it isn't so neat any more and I am not sure that it is suppose to be neat. Uncomfortable seems to be more beneficial for me! Pressure, stress, ignorance seems to only led to growth, trust, and knowledge. God is mysterious and all-knowing and I have to remember that I am NOT! God's timing is perfect so now that my worldvision has be readjusted for me to look to the now not to the future whether minutes... hours.. days... months.. years and beyond.. because God's got me and he is going to take care of me. I know that there is of course times and circumstances to look further in the future but be cautious because I think that doing so is a very slippery downward slope that can easily turn into misguidance and/or sin.
Thank you God for today... and your immense planning and knowledge of my life and your wisdom of when to reveal it to me perfectly. I am yours to use wholly!
3 out of 4 college students like NAPS
3 out of 4 days will lead to BIG decisions
3 out of 4 of my classes are DONE for the semester
3 out of 4 of my siblings are BOYS
Crazy how statistics begin to show whatever you want them to? I have come to the revelation that my semester is almost done... my undergrad degree is almost done... and well life begins... If we have advertising and other things out in the real world that are misleading similar to what statistics sometimes may show.. how am I as a simple individual suppose to differentiate and understand where and what to do in life. There must be some balance between what we want, what we know we should do, and what we thing God, or a higher power may want in our life. But how am I suppose to develop this "truth" for my life without becoming to pragmatetic in my philosophy and metaphysics. I know that in some regards I am simply existentialistic at heart by Sarte's defination of choice and responsiblily with an addition of God. Trust in God.... Truth for my life...
As my time that I am categorized as a "kid" diminishes I am only reminded of the Toys 'R Us slogan of, "I don't want to grow up I am a toys 'r us kid!" The "real world" is upon me... life changing and guiding choices are hidden beneath ever innocent decision made. Graduation is nearing and understanding of what next is decreasing with every passing day. God has called me to do this so far.... but have I made what I want next my own or is that still God's too? Well I don't know how to answer that? But I suppose that all will be answered by the doors opened and closed by God himself.
Life has always seemed like such a pre-packaged, just ad water kind of kit until recently when my worldview and everything associated with it was shattered into countless pieces and the all to common saying of "Tomorrow is not promised to you" seems to ring truer than ever. Tomorrow has always been automatically affiliated with a goal and now I feel like God has brought me to a point in my life where there is no goal, but simple guniune reliance on him. Up to this point in my life I have never really had to think about much.... go to school.. look forward to my driver's license.. then to graduation.. and then it was a given that college was next... you look forward to the preverbal age of 21 just because of the freedom and media hype that has been applied... and then graduation from college seems to be the next step... with a job... family and career within sight. But my life has been turned upside down and it isn't so neat any more and I am not sure that it is suppose to be neat. Uncomfortable seems to be more beneficial for me! Pressure, stress, ignorance seems to only led to growth, trust, and knowledge. God is mysterious and all-knowing and I have to remember that I am NOT! God's timing is perfect so now that my worldvision has be readjusted for me to look to the now not to the future whether minutes... hours.. days... months.. years and beyond.. because God's got me and he is going to take care of me. I know that there is of course times and circumstances to look further in the future but be cautious because I think that doing so is a very slippery downward slope that can easily turn into misguidance and/or sin.
Thank you God for today... and your immense planning and knowledge of my life and your wisdom of when to reveal it to me perfectly. I am yours to use wholly!
Monday, December 05, 2005
Chester the Cheetah
I have an amazing girlfriend. Emily was willing to dress up in a nine foot inflatable costume and walk around a Sam's Club so that I could get a digital camera. It was fun but it was also a lot of work. But overall a fun experience and another memory that Emily and I will have. Four hours does not seem like a lot, but let me tell you between the two of us we only spent two hours each in the costume but it was enough.. and I think that we both are still trying to recooperate from that long day on Saturday! But let me tell you... We brought smiles to so many people in those four hours.... it was nice to see even the adults smile... although there were a few kids which were truly scared of Chester, but overall everyone just smiled and loved having us there. And when you are in a costume and no one knows who you are there is some freedom a relief that even a shy person can be goofy it is kind of nice. It was tiring being Chester, but I have a new found respect for anyone dressed up in a costume. And I would do this again in a second, only because my helper made it lots of fun... SHE is the BEST!
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