fruitless exertion...

"It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,

and work your worried fingers to the bone.

Don't you know he enjoys

giving rest to those he loves?"

- Psalm 127:2 MSG

Is it just me or does this contradict the core of what our society drives and pounds into us as contributing members of the business world? How do we reconcile this idea that God did not intend for us to worry, over work ourselves, stress out, and so much more? As a person I am wired for success and to strive for perfection in everything that I do... but yet in so many aspects it is unattainable. When implementing this concept into my life of attempting not to worry as it does not accomplish anything, it seems that I am going against everything that makes people successful in the world. But maybe that is my problem am I striving for worldly or spiritual success? Can I have both? If so how?

I also feel that sometimes I have a difficult time "tooting my own horn." God ridiculed the Pharisees for fasting and making a big deal out of it so that everyone would know how "holy" they were. To my benefit or my fault I unintentionally feel that I sometimes adopt a similar philosophy in my work life and career. I work my hardest in everything that I do, help all that I can, and probably do not say no enough. I do all of this because I like to think that I have integrity and am a humble person. But in the workplace and business world this can often times be misinterpreted as being timid, undetermined, or unqualified for a different position or promotion. Although I know that even if my coworkers, superiors, or organization cannot see the work and effort that I give in its entirety, God does.... and his opinion and plan are what's most important in my life.

I understand that God knows me down to the number of hairs on my head, he understands me and created me for a unique and wonderful purpose. The somewhat frustrating and battle going on inside my mind and body is what this purpose might be. The mind is a powerful thing... Lord use it to my advantage and your Kingdom!

Nocturnal deliberation

How come things often seem most clear late at night after watching a good movie? Roughly 37 days away from having my Master's... I continue to try and figure out how it will play into my life and career, but there seems to be so much unknown and variables at play it is difficult to even speculate. With all of that said I pray and know that it will bring change, challenges, relief, and invigoration... a some what tall order but I know that someone upstairs has some BIG plans for me and am looking forward to executing them soon.

You know as I reflect back on college, schooling, and the rest of the time that I did not really have any responsibility.... i remember how great it was. One of the wisest things that someone said to me when I was in college was, "When I grow up I want to be a college student." I was obviously playing pool at the time and gave it not a second thought, but how great was that.... food was always ready for you... friends were but steps away at all times, movies... activities... and obviously studying. Real life takes on this fourth dimension that is powerful, dominating, and draining. That is why it is extremely important to harness it and dictate where it takes you.... use its strength and power to your advantage.

Everyone has their hobbies... exercising... running... crafting... etc... I am sure that as school draws to a close I will develop and rejuvenate many new and old hobbies. But with that said no matter what is going on in my life, when I have the control to play the perfect song or listen to some great music it melts me away from reality and takes me somewhere that knows no limits or boundaries... When I close my eyes I can remain perfectly still for what seems like forever without even knowing it. Music massages my mental muscles and recharges my spirit... My life is my own and I am daily creating my personal soundtrack... What are you listening to?